cobaltnine | IFComp 2008 - The Lucubrator

That means, if you haven't googled it already, 'one who studies at night.'

I had high hopes. I like medical-creepiness, and zombies. In fact, just on Tuesday, I was sitting outside the medical school, reading some Lovecraft and thinking, "Someday I'll show them! I'll show them all!"

My first complaint will be about grammar: commas, and stupid little things like spacing and capitalization (at the end, in Dave's ramblings.) There's also a freakish bit of POV change in the first section, which I can't find again. It suddenly went from 2nd POV to 1st, just for a few lines, sometime after I cut the restraints and before I met the guard.

Who, you see, doesn't react to a naked bloody woman the way I'd personally expect one too. Even a slightly stoned one. I was naked, of course, because there's no way to realize you can get the lab coat until you specifically ask for it - it doesn't appear when you 'x jeff' - or 'get all,' which became my default during this.

There's a lot of implementation missing. The restraints, the lovely blood, exposed bone, creepy instruments: all of which are missing description! Potential delicious description!

His mouth makes a small smile. "You should have seen it. The look on your face when I held you down and gave you the injection," he continues. "It was painless. Don't worry. You were dead in two seconds."

>x herbert 
You can't see any such thing.

Yes I can. I see Herbert West, albeit slightly more foul-mouthed and trigger-happy.

Final Rating: 4. Goddamn, that's a lot of 4s. I think this is relatively on par with 'The Fount of the Hall of Cut'n'paste,' which is too bad; it could have gone in a slightly more interesting direction, like 'Cry Wolf'. Oh well.