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cobaltnineWhoops, unannounced hiatus. And now, of course, I get to come back to a huge game. Make no mistake, this is a large game. If you need a shorter one for time constraints, try something else and come back to this when you have a full 2 hrs.
My first impression was that I'm not hugely into spaceship games, but hey, I've got Holst on, and that kind of fits, so let's go with it. But then, only a few seconds later, I am disappointed.
The writing: The writing is sloppy. 20 minutes doesn't equal half an hour, and 'adress card' isn't a term. Wong and Azkaban (or whatever his name was) are stereotypes, plain and simple. I cringed reading the 'Asian accent'. James is vaugely interesting, but a bit talky in an 'and now I will explain things' way. And now, for the logic of some of the writing: if you're in a 'very clean' manufacturing plant (one with 14-hour days, natch), they aren't going to let you wander around in your street clothes. Suit up, Mr Faceless Guy.
The map: Fuck this fucking map. I suppose a tour was necessary, since going into adjoining rooms was work. Why not a simple grid? I mean, I'm not asking for as blatant a grid as other games have, but given a piece of blank paper, I shouldn't be writing things like 'nw in, e out' on the side of rooms.
Also, I did not save once the tour was completed, and then I had to go through the entire thing again once I instadeathed.
The puzzles: At hour 1.5 I have completed the first cutting puzzle. I am not ashamed at all to use the walkthrough for it. This is just a maze in another disguise. Making me do it twice is just mean. The author seems to have a disdain for people, and you know what? And while we're discussing disdain, dude, your about needs politing. The about makes me think you're a pretentious sod whose identity was tied up in being the smart kid in school. Guess what, kiddo? It ends once you hit the real world. You cannot ride that high forever.
Ahem.
Now, some things that are, among others, totally unacceptable from a gaming POV:
I guess I'm not talking to Wong again. That's okay, the Asian accent was enough the first time. Lolracismwhut.
After two hours, I'm done with lunch. Except...
Simple synonyms, a simple map, and not requiring me to 'exit' out of tables and areas is just easier on everyone. You can still have complex puzzles that don't involve jiggering machines or huge areas.
How to improve it? Make a smaller, more detailed game. Try an exercise - three rooms, max. No repeated actions. Show, don't tell.
The axioms that apply to writing apply to IF as well - and now I've realized the problem. This is written as if it's a video game, where the player is making different physical actions that are naturalistic to make with the hands or body, but not natural at all in IF. My primary suggestion to the author is to try writing a short story first. Actually write it. Then apply the IF actions to the writing. The geography of this game reads like this, if it were written out as fiction:
George went down the hallway, and then down another. After going around the stairwell, he went across a bridge, and then down a hallway. He walked across the belt and then up a hallway. Then he went into a room.
Good grief, you're saying, right? Right?
I'm not going to put up my numeric rating, but it's under 5. Partly broken (I consider the three examples above a form of 'broken' and they aren't alone,) and partly frustrating. I just didn't enjoy this game. This is more work than my job, and my job involves calling insurance companies.
My first impression was that I'm not hugely into spaceship games, but hey, I've got Holst on, and that kind of fits, so let's go with it. But then, only a few seconds later, I am disappointed.
The writing: The writing is sloppy. 20 minutes doesn't equal half an hour, and 'adress card' isn't a term. Wong and Azkaban (or whatever his name was) are stereotypes, plain and simple. I cringed reading the 'Asian accent'. James is vaugely interesting, but a bit talky in an 'and now I will explain things' way. And now, for the logic of some of the writing: if you're in a 'very clean' manufacturing plant (one with 14-hour days, natch), they aren't going to let you wander around in your street clothes. Suit up, Mr Faceless Guy.
The map: Fuck this fucking map. I suppose a tour was necessary, since going into adjoining rooms was work. Why not a simple grid? I mean, I'm not asking for as blatant a grid as other games have, but given a piece of blank paper, I shouldn't be writing things like 'nw in, e out' on the side of rooms.
Also, I did not save once the tour was completed, and then I had to go through the entire thing again once I instadeathed.
The puzzles: At hour 1.5 I have completed the first cutting puzzle. I am not ashamed at all to use the walkthrough for it. This is just a maze in another disguise. Making me do it twice is just mean. The author seems to have a disdain for people, and you know what? And while we're discussing disdain, dude, your about needs politing. The about makes me think you're a pretentious sod whose identity was tied up in being the smart kid in school. Guess what, kiddo? It ends once you hit the real world. You cannot ride that high forever.
Ahem.
Now, some things that are, among others, totally unacceptable from a gaming POV:
>set dial to ## You hear a click from the inside workings of the dial, and you swing the locker door open. >open locker (the your locker) It seems to be locked. >talk to wong Which do you mean, Wong or the Wong's Machine? >wong You can't see any such thing.
I guess I'm not talking to Wong again. That's okay, the Asian accent was enough the first time. Lolracismwhut.
After two hours, I'm done with lunch. Except...
>eat What do you want to eat? >food You can't see any such thing.
Simple synonyms, a simple map, and not requiring me to 'exit' out of tables and areas is just easier on everyone. You can still have complex puzzles that don't involve jiggering machines or huge areas.
How to improve it? Make a smaller, more detailed game. Try an exercise - three rooms, max. No repeated actions. Show, don't tell.
The axioms that apply to writing apply to IF as well - and now I've realized the problem. This is written as if it's a video game, where the player is making different physical actions that are naturalistic to make with the hands or body, but not natural at all in IF. My primary suggestion to the author is to try writing a short story first. Actually write it. Then apply the IF actions to the writing. The geography of this game reads like this, if it were written out as fiction:
George went down the hallway, and then down another. After going around the stairwell, he went across a bridge, and then down a hallway. He walked across the belt and then up a hallway. Then he went into a room.
Good grief, you're saying, right? Right?
I'm not going to put up my numeric rating, but it's under 5. Partly broken (I consider the three examples above a form of 'broken' and they aren't alone,) and partly frustrating. I just didn't enjoy this game. This is more work than my job, and my job involves calling insurance companies.
